


Bloodline

by radPervert



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fan - Freeform, Gen, Original Character(s), POV First Person, POV Original Character, SBURB Fan Session
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-21
Packaged: 2018-04-13 05:07:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4508973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radPervert/pseuds/radPervert
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruno gets unknowingly sucked into a SBURB session after his best friend (the player), girlfriend, and cousin drag him along. Joana and Daniel knew he wouldn't come willingly so they tricked him, but what they weren't expecting is that Bruno would go along the journey with Ricardo. Folow the adventure of Bruno and Ricardo through the Land of Storms and Tears, and find out if Bruno's presence is so simple as it seems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Me:** Hey man, sup?

 **Ricardo:** H-hey Bruno. Uhh, look, you think you can come over to my place?

He sounds uneasy.

 **Me:** Yeah, sure. What’s the occasion?

 **Ricardo:** Just. Just come over. Since when do you need a reason to come over?

 **Me:** Okay… what tim-

 

He hangs up. What the hell? Calls me like that and then… I don’t even care. Not going to get mad again. He’d always been the weird kind, this seemed a little too strange for him but I shrug it off. I’m sure he’s just trying to freak me out and prank me once I get there. Wouldn’t be the first, anyway. If that’s the case, I better take someone else with me. If I’m going down, I’m not going alone.  
  
I pick up my phone and text Joana.

 

 **Me:** Good morning bby x3

 **Joana:** Hey

 **Me:** …  
**Me:** Are you ok?

 **Joana:** Yeah. Why?

 **Me:** Well… you didn’t say hey the same cute way you use to, and like I just did…

 **Joana:** No baby I’m fine x3

 **Me:** Really? Please if something’s wrong…  
**Me** : I don’t want to go through the same agony like last week.

 **Joana:** No! I’m fine seriously.  
**Joana:** How are you?  <3

 **Me:** I’m okay.  
**Me:** Ricardo invited me over. Can you come too?

 

She’s taking a while to answer. I finally get off bed where I was just wasting time after waking up, before Ricardo’s call woke me up. Shit what time is it? 11:28. Not so bad. Considering it’s spring break, not that late to get up. Relatively speaking. I hope mom left me some decent lunch.  
  
I immediately go turn my laptop on. I open my room’s blinds and understand the meaning of their name. The bright almost midday light shines through, blinding my still sleepy eyes. I turn away and jokingly hiss. Why did I do that. No one’s watching that’s why.

Walking over to the kitchen I adjust my boxers to the right place. They stick to my skin with the sweat of my laziness. God why is it so hot. It’s still just early spring, do you hear that sun?!

As I turn the corner into my kitchen the dread in me catches on. I see the scene that I was fearing the most. On the stove there it sit. A huge pot. It might be something else… Maybe stewed meat... I grab the lid, slowly shining light inside the container and reflecting back revealing the golden liquid sitting in there. It’s soup. God fucking damnit. I hate soup and she knows it.

As I quietly sob I hear my phone’s notification beep. I run over to my room, it was probably Joana replying. Caught up in the excitement and in the dark of the hallway, I fail to notice Kuro in my feet’s trajectory. Fuck I say under my breath as I trip and fall. MEOW cries Kuro not so under his breath as I kick him. I grab onto the wall in an attempt to minimize the damages to my body, scraping my hand in the rough sandy paint. I look at my hand trying not to swear. Droplets of blood form on the tiny scrapes but build up to flow down my palm. Still sitting on the floor Kuro stared at me with an offended face. You’re offended? Why don’t you learn to stay away from my feet? I proper myself on the wall, bleeding onto it. Better clean that up. That thought quickly escapes my head as I remember Joana’s text.

I limp into the room and pick up my phone. It was her. It better had been or else I fell for nothing.

 

 **Joana:** Yeah, me too.

 **Me:** Really? He didn’t mention anything…

 **Joana:** Oh, I’m sure he just forgot. xD

 **Me:** I guess… he was a little weird.

 **Joana:** You know Ricardo xD Anyways sorry bby I’m going to get ready.

 **Me:** So soon? It’s not even past lunch.

 **Joana:** You know how ladies are right? Sorry bye ^^

 

No. I don’t know how ladies are. Joana wasn’t like that. No that she was bad, no way. I liked her like that. But she wasn’t your out-dated stereotypical societal lady. Jesus, why is everyone so weird today.

Why didn’t Ricardo just tell me Joana was going?  Usually he asks me to invite Joana myself, due to his shyness, but now he invites her himself? What if… she’s in on the prank?

I lock my phone and throw it on the bed.

I decide to go on the computer for a little while I wait for my stomach to plead for food. That’s the only way I’m eating that poor excuse for food. Skype is mostly empty in contrast to the usual plethora of world wide online friends. I see my cousin Daniel available and click his tab.

 

 **Me:** yo

 **Daniel:** yo

 **Me:** sup?

 **Daniel:** getting ready

 **Daniel:** i’m going over to ricardo’s  
**Daniel:** he invited you right?

 **Me:** oh yeah but he didnt tell me u were going tho…  
**Me:** he didnt tell me joana was going either

 **Daniel:** it’s a group thing then  
**Daniel:** sweet

 **Me:** i guess  
**Me:** did he seem weird to you

 **Daniel:** what?  
**Daniel:** no not really

 **Me:** i think he wants to prank us xD

 **Daniel:** why do you say that

 **Me:** nvm  
**Me:** I tried asking the time to go but he hung up

 

I check my contacts and he’s offline.

 

 **Me:** aaaaaaand he’s offline ofc

 **Daniel:** oh just go around after lunch I guess

 **Me:** oh okay

 **Daniel:** i was just surfing around but so many sites are down  
**Daniel:** some server failures going on or some shit like that  
**Daniel:** maybe he’s having net problems too

 **Me:** damn it

 

My belly rumbles. Really? You know what’s ahead and you still want it? Whatever let’s just get this done with.

 

 **Me:** brb lunch

After heating and very excruciatingly eating a plate of soup, which specific flavor I couldn’t put my finger on as they all taste the same to me, like shit, I go back to my room.

My phone beeps when I enter.

 

 **Ricardo:** you can come

 **Me:** Aight be there in some minutes. Might take a while… still in my undies ;)

 

No reply. Why do I even try.

Back on skype.

 

 **Me:** oh hey he answered saying i could go so you can go too i guess

 **Daniel:** i see  
**Daniel:** ok then see you there

 **Me:** see yah

 

What to wear, I wonder. I open my shirts drawer and TADA! A disappearing act. No fucking shirts. Mom forgot to pick them up from the drying rack. As usual. I walk over to the kitchen window to pick them up. I look up to the sky. What? All that sunlight and it actually looks like it’s going to rain, the sky was grey and moving fast. I open the window, but as I swing it open, a waft of hot, heavy air hits me, like those on hot summer days when you open a car that’s been out in the sun for too damn long while your mom dragged you shopping. God damn this weather is getting weirder and weirder. I’ll just take a t-shirt and a jacket just in case. I pick up a random shirt and close the window. Just as I’m turning away, a flash of green light over the clouds catches my eye. I look back but quickly continued on to the wardrobe and got ready. Simple pants, simple shirt and I’m golden. Oh, and the jacket.

I close my laptop, pick up my keys and wallet, and put them in my pocket.

I text Joana telling her I was leaving home and she should too, while I walk towards the door, but my cat bumps into my feet. You’re really asking for it aren’t you. He looks at me with those cat eyes and I… Agh I can’t resist. I pet him and he asks for more. I was so involved in the affection I only snap out of it when my phone beeps. Joana was leaving too. I jolt up and make my way to the streets. Again as I open the building’s entrance door, the heat hits me like a slap to the face. They say gloomy weather with heat means thunderstorms are forming, and I could hear it, in the distance. The thunders, but rather faint. Or maybe fireworks?

I’m just about a block away from Ricardo’s house, and I looked in its direction noticing the clouds behind it, really behind it, almost at the horizon. The homogenous grey cloudy sky is interrupted with holes. I stop for a picture, it looked really cool, and then keep walking.

When I get to Ricardo’s building entrance, Joana and Daniel are already there. I calmly go and shake Daniel’s hand and hug him while we trade Yo’s, then turn to Joana and kiss her.

 

 **Me:** Heyyy ba-

I tried saying while we kissed but she shut me up with her mouth, passionately and if I may say a little violently kissing me. I reciprocate and grab her face closer as we make out.

 **Daniel:** OH CMON EWW.

I break our kiss for his sake but Joana didn’t want to let go still following my lips like they were hooked but eventually letting go. I look at her face, her beautiful face. Her beautiful eyes, beautiful nose, beautiful mouth, beautiful bloodied cheek. Wait.

 **Me:** Oh shit, sorry honey I got blood on you.

 **Joana:** What?

She runs her hand through her cheek and sees the blood.

 **Joana:** Where’s this from? Are you okay?

 **Me:** Yeah I fell and scrapped my hand nothing serious. Just forgot to clean it up. Should have stopped the bleeding by now…

 **Daniel:** Shit you got it on me too.

He lifts the hand I shook earlier and it is indeed soiled with dark red.

 **Me:** Sorry bro...

 **Joana:** When Ricardo lets us in we gotta clean that up.

 **Me:** Okay mom.

I roll my eyes jokingly.

 **Joana:** Shut up!

She goes in for another kiss and laughs.

 **Me:** So when IS he going to let us in.

 **Daniel:** We rang the door already. Just wait.

 **Me:** How long ago?

 **Daniel:** Like… 3 minutes ago I guess.

 **Me:** Then ring again, maybe he didn’t hear it!

I go to ring the bell but Joana grabs me.

 **Joana:** Jus-Just wait a bit. I’m sure he’ll answer anytime now.

 **Me:** Oh okaaaay. What is going on here? A prank? A surprise? Why are you in on it? Cmon jig’s up, spill it.

They stare at me.

 **Daniel:** No I swear, nothing is up.

 **Me:** Then let me ring it again.

I stretch my arm to ring on the bell but the loud unlocking noise of the door startles me and I jump. They laugh.

 **Me:** HA HA shut up.

 

We walk up the stairs. When we get to his floor, the door was already open, so we step inside.

 

 **Daniel:** Hey dude where are you?

 **Ricardo:** OH HEY STAY THERE IN THE LIVING ROOM PLEASE. I’LL-I’LL BE RIGHT THERE.

A loud thud is heard. I swear I felt the ground shake.

 **Me:** Everything alright there? Did you fall? Ahah

 **Ricardo:** UHHH YEAH

 **Me:** What? Really?

 **Ricardo:** UHHH WHAT? OH NO NO.

 **Me:** Dude what’s going on?

We hear a loud meow.

 **Joana:** Awwww Nepeta come here.

 

Nepeta is Ricardo’s cat. She’s the cutest thing.

My ears were playing tricks on me. I could swear I hear like a high pitched “okay” coming from down the hall. Ricardo whispers, and then starts walking, eventually reaching the living room. He looks tired and sweaty. Still in his pajamas. When I look at his face, his eyes were watery.

 

 **Ricardo:** H-hey guys.

 **Me:** So why are we here.

 **Ricardo:** I’ll tell you in a minute. Sorry for making you wait. Sorry.        Sorry…

 **Bruno:** Just hurry whatever you’re doing.

 **Ricardo:** Sit on the couch please. I’ll be… right back.

 

His eyes kept being distracted, like he was looking everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

He leaves.

I sit on the couch, right by the window, and turn to Joana and kiss her.

 

 **Daniel:** Ugh.

 **Joana:** What was that?

 **Daniel:** Oh. Uh just… this weather sure sucks.

 

He looks towards the window.

I stare again at the horizon and there were the holes again. I could have sworn there were fewer before. And the clouds look like they’re getting lower. Either that or it’s smoke.

 

 **Me:** Yeah I don’t even know what to wear when I go out. So I brought a jacket in case it gets cold.

Still holding on to the jacket I rest it on the arm of the couch.

 **Joana:** Oh don’t worry I’ll warm you up if it gets cold.

 

She looks seductively at me.

I look past Joana, and Daniel puts his finger down his throat and pretends to puke. I snicker.

Another loud noise is heard, as well as some talking.

 

 **Me:** Dude, what are you doing over there? Come on hurry!

No response.

 **Me:** If you’re going to prank us, I swear to god Ricardo!

 

I get up and make my way to his room but as I was leaving the living room he comes in and bumps against me. And I hear something crack.

 

 **Ricardo:** SHIT.

 **Me:** Fuck did I break something?!

 

I look down and at his hands I see a bright red cloth. When he opens it, inside were crystal shards of what looked like a glass matching the cloth’s color.

 

 **Me:** Wha…

 

The ground starts shaking. Flashes of bright light come from outside. I look towards the window. I couldn’t stop noticing the holes in the clouds. The smoke was denser. And I saw it. A flaming ball making yet another hole in the clouds, descending rapidly and as it crashes, there it was, the thunder’s noise. Time slows down. My mind is racing trying to figure out what was happening around me. Ricardo’s behavior, the weather, internet issues, the holes in the clouds, the “thunder” noises.

 

 **Ricardo:** I am… so…so sorry…

 

He breaks down crying.

 

And everything went dark.

 

And then bright grey.


	2. Chapter 2

The sudden brightness makes me close my eyes. Still, behind my thin eyelids I could see the light.

I don’t open them right away. I am still processing what was happening. What I thought could be happening. No, it couldn’t be. It was impossible. Then again everyone in stories thinks the situation they could be in is impossible and every time they’re proven wrong. But this is real life. And I’m really considering it. It’s like when you’re alone and you try to move something with your mind hoping, maybe, you had hidden super powers or something. There’s always that hope for the impossible. Or fear.

The strange weather, my missing online friends, the websites going down that Daniel mentioned, the holes in the sky, the, what I thought was, thunder… Ricardo’s weird behavior…

It was ridiculous but still, the idea crosses my mind.

Silence lingered. I remain with my eyes closed, thinking, when a tap on my shoulder jolts me back to awareness. I open my eyes and stare at the living room’s large window. Faint rain and wind noise slowly enters my ears.

After bumping into Ricardo and breaking whatever he was carrying, I had turned to face the other way. I saw a huge flaming ball falling from the sky, and the earth quaked, and the lighting suddenly changed. Still I don’t believe it. I can’t believe it, no matter how much I wanted. It was just a story.

But then again… Fuck, what’s happening?!

The window’s glass had fogged up, rendering the outside view to a light grey. Some drops of rain raced down the glass.

 

 **Joana** : Bruno?

 

I now hear sobs from behind me. I look for the source of the tap on my shoulder. Joana next to me, watery eyes and a wrinkle beneath her mouth, clearly trying not to cry. Daniel on the couch, head between his legs, hands on top. Slowly, I turn back, Ricardo on the same spot, holding the cloth, snot falling from his nose connecting with his tears’ trail.

I was scared to ask.

 

 **Me** : Why- Why are you guys crying?..

 

Joana breaks down and runs to me. She opens her arms to try and hug me but I step away from her. She looks at me clearly hurt, sobbing. I'm so confused. By everything I saw outside. By everything I'm seeing right now. By the possibilities and their impossibility. But what am I thinking. My girlfriend is crying and she needs me. I walk up to her and hug her, while she buries her face in my chest.

 

 **Me** : Sorry. I'm just... Did any of you see that thing outs-

 **Daniel** : Yeah dude. We saw it. - he says like he was trying to shut me up.

 

He raises his head, looks at me, his face stoic but his eyes watery, and goes back to putting it between his legs.

 

 **Me** : Ok for real now, can someone explain me what's happening?

 

From outside I hear the sound of wind picking up speed. Distant rumble and the floor shakes.

Ricardo wipes his face and tries to look serious.

 

 **Ricardo** : Look we just want you to know everything we did, we did it for you, for your own good.

 **Me** : What DID you do? Stop beating around the bush and tell me. What. Is. Happening?

 **Ricardo** : I think you know what. Think about it. The weird weather, the holes in the clouds, this thing you broke, that thing you saw outside and now everything seems different. Nothing coming to mind?

 

The thought comes back. And again logic rejects it. No, it’s impossible. Yet he seems to be suggesting it. It can’t be…

 

 **Me** : Come on… If this is a joke, it-

 **Ricardo** : Dude, it’s real. It’s all real. It’s happening.

 

I take a big gulp. They’re playing a prank on me. That’s the only explanation.

 

 **Me** : Oh ah ah very funny. You caught me guys. I actually considered it for a second. You can stop now.

 

Ricardo and Daniel look at me, showing no hint of amusement. Joana looks up and wipes her tears.

 

 **Joana** : Baby… it’s no joke.

 **Me** : Guys, come on this is enough.

 **Daniel** : Dude…

 

I back away from them. I can’t believe this. I just can’t. This was just a big elaborate joke.

Suddenly I see a shadow from behind me. I look around to the window and a figure maybe half my size looms outside. In a burst the glass shatters. Wind rushes into the room blowing the window's long curtain into the air and revealing the owner of the figure. A creature with cat ears, a dog's snout, and goldfish like scaly skin on the rest of its body. And those eyes... stretched and menacing eyes. Like an... imp. It’s disturbing to look at but then it gave off a sort of meow mixed with a bark and I think everyone became a little less afraid of it. It took two steps forward before the curtain came back down and tangled itself with the imp. It falls on the ground and wiggles furiously. I hear Ricardo laugh from behind. Yeah, count on him to laugh in a situation like this. Daniel shoots up from his seat on the sofa and looks horrified while he backs away from the spectacle and runs deeper into the house through the corridor but not before pulling on me and Joana to go with him. Joana starts walking but I don't move. I can't take my eyes from the creature as it tried to free itself from the treacherous embrace of the drapes.

 

 **Joana** : Let's go Bruno. Ricardo will take care of this. - she says pulling on my shirt.

 

I keep staring. I don't want to run. I don't know why.

 

 **Joana** : Bruno.

 **Me** : I- Go on. I'll stay here.

 **Joana** : But it's dang-

 

I turn my head to her and look her in the eyes.

 

 **Me** : Don't worry. Go.

 

She frowns and looks worried.

 

 **Me** : Go!

 

I can't understand this feeling, but I need to stay. I guess from the sense of betrayal that set in my mind from figuring out what was happening. I was angry, at them and at everything. I needed to kick some ass. And this imp's scaly ass would do just fine.

Joana is still looking at me but our eye contact is broken by Ricardo.

 

 **Ricardo** : Look out!

 

When I look back to the imp all I see is a blur. That little shit had broken out and is coming in my direction at a speed I never imagined its tiny legs could manage. I only had time to push Joana away from behind me before it jumps onto me, making me fall the fuck down. The fucker is strong and I struggle with it. I can hear footsteps fade out. Joana must have gone down the corridor. The imp claws into my chest with its, I suspect, cat claws. I didn't really see the paws but I sure as fuck felt them. I kick and writhe on the floor trying to take it off of me as it tried to bite on my face.

 

 **Ricardo** : Don't move!

 

I have a fucking creature from hell on me and he wants me to not move.

 

 **Me** : Yeah, you try and do that in my place.

 

I don't know what happened next because I closed my eyes ever since I fell down, but I hear a sound not totally unlike the sound of a baseball ball hitting a baseball, followed by a dog's yelp and I feel a weight lift from me. Or better, fly off me. I open my eyes and jump to my feet ready to punch something. Looking around I see the imp at a good distance from me lying on the ground and making some weird sounds. Besides me is Ricardo, holding a bat. I guess that explains it.

 

 **Me** : Thanks...

 **Ricardo** : No problem. If you’re gonna stay and fight grab something and make yourself useful.

 

Well, ok big guy. Sheesh what's with the attitude. Wait, why am I saying this to myself. I should say this out loud.

 

 **Me** : Well, ok big guy. Sheesh what's with the attitude?

 **Ricardo** : Dude! It's getting up!

 **Me** : Oh, right.

 

I look around for something to fight with. On the wall there was a conveniently placed axe for display. It looked old and rusty but I guess it would do. I grab it and meanwhile Ricardo had already gotten another hit at the thing, I guess from the yelp I hear again. It kinda make me feel sorry for it. But then the scratch marks on my chest sting again and all the pity I felt washed away and I went for it. No mercy. Ricardo was hitting it again and again. It yelped and yelped.

 

 **Me** : Hey, let me make myself useful. - I say with a hint of sarcasm and smugness.

 

I lift my axe and hit it on the imp's neck. But doesn’t go through it, as in the rush I forget to check if I’m holding the axe the right way, and hit the neck with the butt of the blade. It nevertheless cracks and in a puff the imp disappears.

 

 **Me** : Whoa.

 

I then noticed I was panting. Really hard. Like if I had been furious. I felt furious but I hadn't noticed until now. The anger dissipated as I calmed down. Where did that come from? I had no reason to be SO angry. Or did I?

I lift the axe from the ground and notice little jewel like things lying on it. Was that grist and stuff?

 

 **Ricardo** : Yoink! Ahah.

 

In a swift motion he picks up every piece. Well, saying picks up wouldn't be true. It was more like the second he touched it, it disappeared.

 

 **Me** : Hey, you selfish bastard.

 **Ricardo** : What? You got all the XP so don't complain.

 

Oh that was right. I did feel invigorated. Or just placebo effect.

 

With all this fighting, it was like I forgot the true meaning of what I was in. It dawned on me and felt like a trucking running me over.

There was a bit of silence between us. Only the sound of the wind and rain outside and coming inside.

 

 **Me** : So...

 **Ricardo** : Yup.

 

He puts his arm around my shoulder and pats it as we walk down into the corridor where Joana and Daniel were in silence. The only room emanating light was the last one down the corridor. We go into it and Joana and Daniel were standing in the middle of what was Ricardo's room but now filled with some machines I knew well. Joana sees me and runs to hug me. I hug her but not as tightly and she did.

 

 **Joana** : Oh my god, you're okay.

 **Me** : Yeah, besides a few scratches.

 

I pass my hand on my chest where the imp had scratched me. Most were small ones besides a big one where I was losing a little blood from.

 

 **Joana** : Oh no. I knew something bad would happen. This was a mistake. Why did you agree with this, Daniel? I knew this was a mistake.

 **Daniel** : We BOTH agreed, don't start blaming me now!

 **Ricardo** : Hey. Hey, guys, shut up.

 **Daniel** : Would you prefer to stay behind? You would die.

 **Joana** : At least we’d be safe!

 **Daniel** : What? You consider meteors safer than those things? At least you have a chance here!

 

They kept going. I wanted to know more about what was happening and here they were fighting.

 

 **Me** : STOP!

 

They shut up and look at me, and soon guilt sets into their expressions.

 

 **Me** : Look I kinda got what is happening. But please can we PLEASE talk calmly and seriously about this?

 

???: Meow.

 

Oh great. They got sweet, precious Nepeta into this. I'd forgotten about her. I look at where the meow came from and see this ghostly big red version of Nepeta floating in the air.

 

 **Me** : You got to be fucking kidding me.


	3. Chapter 2.5

…

Yellow… breaking… falling…

Behind the debris, two people.

 

Louds knocks on the door make me wake up with a start. I sit up on my bed, on the corner of my dark room. More knocks, must be my mom.

 

 **Me** : What? – I say with drowsiness in my voice.

 **Mom** : Wake up!

 **Me** : I am SPEAKING to you. Do you think I’m sleeping?

 **Mom** : Bruno!

 **Me** : OK ok!

 

I get up and walk to the door but not before slamming into the wall just before it. I open the door.

 

 **Me** : I’m up.

 **Mom** : Good. I’m going to vacuum the floor.

 **Me** : That’s why you woke me up?

 **Mom** : You’d wake up with the noise and complain so might as well wake you up myself.

 

I roll my eyes and turn around to open the windows. Behind me I hear the vacuum cleaner going off and the noise going louder and louder.

 

 **Me** : MOM! I JUST woke up. Can’t you do the other rooms first?

 **Mom** : Fine. But when I come back, you’re cleaning it.

 **Me** : Whatever.

 

I go get a yogurt from the kitchen and come back into my room to turn on the PC and begin my weekend morning ritual of getting up to date on what happened during the night on the internet.  
Before I could open the browser, I notice someone messaged me. 9 times. It’s Ricardo of course. Only he wakes up early enough to pester me so much.

 

 **Ricardo** : dude  
**Ricardo** : dUDE  
**Ricardo** : DUDE  
**Ricardo** : cmon dude  
**Ricardo** : jesus fucking christ dude get up  
**Ricardo** : before you say anything  
**Ricardo** : i kno sending all these wont get you up any faster  
**Ricardo** : but still  
**Ricardo** : DUUUUDE

 **Me** : shitting fuck what is it

 **Ricardo** : guess what

 **Me** : no

 **Ricardo** : no what?

 **Me** : i wont guess i have no idea what happened just say it  
**Me** : its too early for this shit

 **Ricardo** : oh u buzzkill

 **Me** : i could be procrastinating on the net rn are you going to say it or what

 **Ricardo** : i got one

 **Me** : one what???

 

He sends a file, a picture. I open it. It’s a cat, mostly black with white parts, looks like a penguin. Pretty cute.

 

 **Ricardo** : :3

 **Me** : awwww kinda cute

 **Ricardo** : KINDA?!  
**Ricardo** : its the cutest thing to ever exist in the history of cute things

 **Me** : okay its pretty cute but chill  
**Me** : kuro is more

 **Ricardo** : kuro my ass

 **Me** : wtv

 **Ricardo** : the classic wtv when proven wrong tch

 **Me** : you can prove shit

 **Ricardo** : ok ok lets go back to the important topic  
**Ricardo** : KITTY

 **Me** : how did you get it

 **Ricardo** : mom gave it to me

 **Me** : ur mom?  
**Me** : the control, cleaning, overall freak mom you have, gave you a walking fur dispenser?

 **Ricardo** : yeaaaaaa

 **Me** : what did you do?

 **Ricardo** : didn’t rly do anything  
**Ricardo** : its just a compensation gift you know

 **Me** : compensate for what?

 **Ricardo** : for her being a total bitch

 **Me** : don’t call her that……

 **Ricardo** : you said it yourself

 **Me** : ye but shes your mom dude

 **Ricardo** : well yea but im her son and she doesnt treat me like one so why should I treat her like a mom  
**Ricardo** : yea she feeds me and rly gives me anything i need but then she treats me like shit  
**Ricardo** : shes neglecting and hypocritical as shit  
**Ricardo** : i talk about this so much you should know

 **Me** : ye…. sorry

 **Ricardo** : its ok  
**Ricardo** : i know its hard to think of mothers like that  
**Ricardo** : but mines like this  
**Ricardo** : ur lucky u have a nice mom

 **Me** : my moms not that nice  
**Me** : she just woke me up by banging on the door because she was gonna clean the house  
**Me** : was having a rly weird but cool dream and all

 **Ricardo** : that’s not that bad dude  
**Ricardo** : your mom is p sweet

 **Me** : ok ye i guess

 **Me** : tho she’s been weird lately

 **Ricardo** : i’d prefer that to she’s been weird my whole life  
**Ricardo** : imagine having a mom that looks so nice to everyone and then uses you as a punching bag  
**Ricardo** : not literally you know that  
**Ricardo** : at least not anymore  
**Ricardo** : but to unleash her frustrations with crazed anger moments  
**Ricardo** : so every once in a while she gets me something nice like  
**Ricardo** : hey there you go sorry for being a shit mom  
**Ricardo** : but ill keep being a shit mom so

 **Me** : hey at least you get cool shit right?

 **Ricardo** : …

 **Me** : sorry xD

 **Ricardo** : i guess ye  
**Ricardo** : this one’s the coolest shit till now  
**Ricardo** : just look at her  
  
Another picture. The little kitten laying on its back looking at the camera. Big eyes and all that cute cat deal.

 **Me** : okay shes rly cute  
**Me** : and wait shes a she?  
**Me** : that was a stupid sequence of words

 **Ricardo** : yea

 **Me** : well?

 **Ricardo** : well what?

 **Me** : whats she called??

 **Ricardo** : you just go well out of nowhere expecting me to know the question????  
**Ricardo** : when just before u complained i did that whole “guess what” thing

 **Me** : excuse u i just thought that was the logical next thing to say when you present a new animal/baby

 **Ricardo** : ………..anyway  
**Ricardo** : nepeta

 **Me** : what about her?

 **Ricardo** : i called her nepeta

 **Me** : ………………………………  
**Me** : you piece of homestuck trash

 **Ricardo** : i know u.u

 **Me** : i rly dont know what I expected tho  
**Me** : now you can be like rose and if sburb happens u prototype your cat

 **Ricardo** : ahah  
**Ricardo** : i wish

 

To be continued…


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